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Today’s topic may touch your souls, your hearts or whatever you use to feel things, for those that can feel things. Apart from regret (if you didn’t understand my last blog post, you’re on the right path of life. Some higher being has given you the ‘skip ad’ button and you can now watch the video that is your life).
Back to the topic of the week. I’ve been feeling some typ’o way lately. How to describe this feeling…
Hmm… Can’t really pull out any worthy analogy that complies to stupidity oh so gracefully. But let’s see here. I’ve been feeling as though the universe has shifted away from me. Life isn’t life anymore, but a Series of Unfortunate Events and now Lemony Snicket has just written a new installment of the book pertaining my life but this time, I’m alone. Shout out to all the kids out there that actually read a Lemony Snicket book. We’re THE COOL KIDS. Fuck you Nancy Drew! (even though I’ve watched all the movies)
And the Hardy Boys but they weren’t so bad. What was really bad though, were the Fabulous Five? Something five. My memory can’t recall but I read one book and it was… yuck. Back to L.S. and I.
So yah. I think my current life status is going through a badly dealt hand. My nails aren’t done, I have a project to finish (but I’m writing this blog and I haven’t actually started the project #optimism #lies #procrastinationatitsbest) and other things along the lines of powerlessness. I am powerless in my own cocoon of shit that I like. My longing for the world is there of course but it seems so far away. Unreachable. I can’t see it anymore. I feel like I’m losing that light that makes everything sparkle. That makes all the impossibilities seem so possible and makes the bad days seem like a horror movie that ends after two hours or so.
Disclaimer: I watched A Quiet Place last night. It was one long nightmare-ish night.
But me being me will never give up. Walking in the dark isn’t so bad. It just makes looking for the door even more fun. Like a game inside your own twisted mind. A game in the dark, while looking for a door and lets add some music. I was thinking… Lie by Halsey to get the adrenaline pumping, then some Selene by Imagine dragons and to top it all off Hey Look Ma, I made it by Panic! At the Disco.
I am looking for hope. The fact that I believe it’s there just makes me the best believer there is.
I’m just a believer that things will get better,
Some can take it or leave it,
But I don’t wanna let it go.
-American Authors, Believer.
Wanna Be Sage