Irreparable content to you all.
I have returned. I noticed I post something every week so I’ll stick to that. Posting something every week for you guys. It helps me survive mentally and you dear reader, know that I’m surviving mentally. What a great turn of events! Filled with sanity. So inspiring.
Today’s blog may come out as a rant of sorts but it is something that has continuously happened to me and that has forced me to develop a mechanism to help me cope.
I made coping mechanism for this shit! Who makes a coping mechanism against other girls? Today’s blog is to all my fellow females out there.
A word please ladies.
Uninterestingly enough, I have guy friends. Yes, guys who are friends. And we get along great. We laugh like idiots, smile like idiots and make stupid comments from relatable things that we share. We have things in common, that’s all I’m saying. However, some girls find my friends attractive. Now, here’s the gist.
Yes ladies, I said it. They are not my cup of tea. They are not the bagel to my coffee, the ring to my short nails (*loud mourning sounds), the idiot to my insanity etc. they are not. I have zero interest in them as romantic partners and more interest in them as a source of great commentary. The end. However, I apparently come off as a threat.
I mean, I don’t mind being viewed as a threat, if it instills fears in others (hehehe) but if it instills hatred! Oh, that’s a whole different story. A member of the female population hating a fellow member because of a guy. Ho ho ho. This world truly is rotten. Sometimes I think I was born too late for my time but I don’t think I’d do well without WIFI and anime. I’d wither, wilt… the whole shibeng. Back to the hate speech.
These girls give me what I now call ‘the bitch-you-touching-my-man’ look, short for, the ‘bitch man’ look. I even sat down and made a name for it. Damn woman! You and your type have wasted some of my time. But it gave me a good laugh though. So when the girls first gave me the ‘bitch man’ look, I was surprised. At that time, I didn’t know the girl. She didn’t know me. We did not run in the same circles. Yet, she was really displeased with me. I’m putting it kindly.
In other words:
She looked at me like I was shit. Like I did not deserve to exist inside her astral plane. I was a freaking outlier. The outlier of outliers. The Star Lord to her Gamorah, before they made out. Oh come on, we all know it was Star Lord’s fault Thanos won #TeamThanos. He needed to keep his emotions in check. They had the finger-snapping-conspiracy theory in their grasp, and he ruined it, only to be turned to sand. Again, #TeamThanos.
Moving on to the next one, the next girl didn’t surprise me. It’s like I kinda knew it was going to happen. But I had to put myself in their shoes, you know? They liked my friend. They had feelings. They were threatened by a funnier female’s presence. They were forced to reveal the ‘bitch man’. I’m putting it kindly again.
So what could I do to put them at ease? What could I do to cease the bitch man? What could I do to maintain peace in the world of boobs??
I did what I thought was the best way forward. I guy-ed myself down. I was no longer Ms. WannaBe.
I was now Mr. WannaBe, with lit nails, that I miss so dearly.
So if you’re reading this, girl with the blue top… (*clears throat), please know that I do not want him. You can have him. I do not advocate for hate and wars.
I advocate for tamed jealousy and the strategic planning of assessing my assumed position in his life.
Let’s be smart ladies, we’re all built better than that.