TANTAN AND I: A REVIEW OF TANTAN, THE DATING APP (PART 1)

And so ladies and gentlemen, today I bring variation. Finally.

Irreparable content to you all.

I’m sure you’re looking at the title and thinking, the shit is she writing? Yes, I am writing this. Because of one specific reason…INSTAGRAM (FOLLOW ME @wanna_be_3000). So yeah, ever since the year started (2018, the year of mishaps and societal comebacks against one common evil, after sordid reflection of the past year’s mistakes) I have been bundled with one specific ad. The TANTAN AD.

tantan

Now what you may ask is, what is LE TANTAN? TANTAN is a dating app. Made in China. I’m serious. I’m not selling a ruler here. TANTAN is a Chinese Tinder ‘clone’. The words of the other people that reviewed the app that I saw and felt were kinda true, more like Tinder’s pretty cousin but not too attractive but in the right light, angle and filter…Yep, TANTAN’s ad was just that inviting. They had they whole draw-you-in-marketing-strategy. Catchy song, cute (possibly models) young godly facially appealing Asian dudes, the occasionally well sculpted white dude and of course the comments that were not in English. So yeah, a Chinese dating app with a cute name, orange background and eye-catching promises like ‘Is this the guy you’ve been looking for?’ *Inserts picture of Kris Wu (hypothetically speaking, my memory isn’t that good but their ad was that good). TANTAN was doing great.

You may ask why would a Chinese ad end up in my list of recommended ads? Well… I don’t know either. Maybe it’s the holy grail of k-pop idols I religiously follow? Maybe it’s the adorable cats (wassup Suki) that I consistently like and pray they never age? Or maybe just maybe TANTAN hired psychics that could sense single and not very lucky young women on the gram with the uncanny ability of being future cat ladies?

The possibilities were endless. I think INSTAGRAM has a badass algorithm right there.

INSTA

So, I do some research. I have to do some research. I am a young paranoid black woman and this is unknown territory in the form of a Chinese app that may just sell me a ruler. Shout out to Xiaomi, so that you know I am diversely educated and not drawing conclusions. I saw this app in January and all I could find as potentially good reviews were videos, a Chinese language teaching video (yep), a video of a guy who talked a lot and I didn’t really bother to listen as much (heck yeah) and lastly an article about how insecure TANTAN was and the writer was an ‘ethical’ hacker that just happened to ‘hack’ the app.

attention

Paranoia kicked in and I ditched the TANTAN train. Then early May (hehehe) I decided to do it, that is, after TANTAN herself appeared on my feed again and I had this random idea to update my blog. Because I couldn’t find a good enough blog that was in English and not reddit. Nothing against reddit by the way. I read that thread too (r/komnenos). And it was four months ago, so people got on the TANTAN train a month after me. I’m progressive!

So I go through this thread and one of the first lines ‘be a white guy’,

first thought ‘*@#///.!?%^&’

*clears throat.

I continue to read, ‘speak Chinese…’.

Then I really like this app all of a sudden. Mind you, I do not speak Chinese. I speak Japanese. Phahahahahahahahaha. Didn’t see that coming did ya?

ははは

I’m serious though. I take Japanese classes and I can read and write the basics, so far. I told you, I’m religious when it comes to my Asian pop and artistic culture #PLUSULTRA. Moving on, I am now terribly intrigued, paranoia is in the bucket.

spongebib time thing

I download the app.

Regards,

Wanna Be Sage.

ME ON TWITTER

 

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