And we’re back ladies and gentlemen, put everything away. And when I say everything I mean everything Becky, yes put away the old Jay Z texts, Beyonce killed it at Coachella! But seriously Becky, put away the instruments, the black tights and ambiguous sentences. We are not here to make sense to the people. But to welcome them to IRREPARABLE CONTENT. Okay… there’s a really loud car outside my window and if cars were slappable without inflicting human pain, my hand would be Mrs. Incredible and I’d be giving it the whooping of a life time.
Oh look, the driver left, he must’ve felt my anger. I’m scary like that.
Anyway, I realize I always talk about things I’ve experienced and you can experience very little in the blue painted walls of your room and that magnificent piece of furniture called the bed. So what about the things I’ve never experienced, this feels like a challenge and oh shit… didn’t close my window, let me close my window real quick.
Okay, had to pass through the bathroom.
Ugh, too much information. But now you see how long I’ve been in bed. But in all honesty, to whoever that cares, I’ve been sick. To all the good people who wish me well, thank you. To all the bad people that want me to suffer a bit longer, #MyHatersHaveArrived.
However, this bathroom-break snot filled not gonna be a list of unnecessary things is not just going to be about things I’ve never felt before (to motivate my writing) but things I will experience in the future. I believe I will finally read the constitution I keep on my dresser. Yes dear reader, I sleep with my country’s constitution on my dresser. It’s nice to sleep at night knowing that you have your rights.
It’s like a lullaby sometimes.
I believe I will experience a serious paper cut, I’ll even make a song about it. I don’t have a beat for my snot-filled brain so the song will have to wait. And you dear reader will also wait. We’re all waiting for Beyonce’s next album. I’m telling you though! It was so good. Welcome to another edition of wannabe’s low-key beyhive-ty. See what I did there? I broke the English language.
I wonder if anyone can say that and make it look professional.
I believe I will actually finish my first book. I have several unfinished copies of books whose inspiration has left me. I don’t have a muse okay?! I’m young and muse-less. It’s a rough way to live but I’m here aren’t I? I believe I will make loads and loads of money. That’s what I’m working hard for, but do be a dear and follow me on my Instagram. I post random shit there as well. I believe I will go to a Beyonce concert in tight blue shorts and my hair dyed lavender.
My dreams are valid.
And to finish this ‘to-be-experienced’ list of no consequential end, I believe I will kick ass in this complicated wish-washy life. Sound complicated huh? The Mercury Retrograde is over!!! Aries season baby. I’m not an Aries by the way. I don’t ‘ram’ into things. See what I did there? Again?!
I am brilliant. Like and Comment below.
Wanna Be Sage.