Authenticity as Questioned at 1 a.m.

I’m awake. Its 1 a.m. as the title says and I just had this idea of writing what it means to be fake or real. As any 2018 millennial truant, I turned to Google and my search was ‘what does it mean to be fake’ and there was Urban Dictionary; ‘fake people’. I laughed and clicked of course. In summary (according to Urban Dictionary), fake people are groupies and hypocrites.

blog 8 fake

I tried another search, ‘difference between real people and fake people’. And there I was ladies and gentlemen, on curejoy.com reading the eight differences between genuine people and fake people. The next result was 11 differences. I didn’t care for the extra three differences. Another result was ‘how to spot a fake person’. I was on Thought Catalog, at this point and there were more lists to this unanswered question.

And so dear reader, for those who actually keep up with my blog posts and understand the typical conundrum that is me, the writer of this piece, know how addicted I am to quizzes. If you’re new here, check out the post: https://wannabesage11754267.wordpress.com/2018/01/09/the-quizzical-addiction/ . So there I was at 1a.m. taking quizzes to know if I was either fake or real. The answers came as percentages or fractions. How much, dear reader, is not the purpose of this tale.

You must be wondering, why I’m mulling about this at 1a.m., well… a friend told me something today and I quote “What I’ve seen from you is that you pour an incredible amount of flavor and kindness into your words like a sort of art craft, but also as a form of make-up”. And it got me thinking, what the hell did they mean? Was I hiding my inner self? Was my true self in a cake of Glossier primer, some Nars Foundation, pro-artist concealer, a Kat Von D eye shadow pallet, Fenty beauty highlighter in the shade ‘trophy wife’ and Jeffrey Star organic matte lipsticks?

blog 8 mask

I’m being sarcastic while selling make-up brands but I was curious. I began to question my personality. I was having a 1a.m. meltdown where my sanity was in question. What am I even saying? Thy sanity is always in question.

I Googled again, ‘fake personality’ and I was back to Thought Catalog and Urban Dictionary with the latter highlighting on deception and manipulation.  I was stuck, but it was 1 a.m. and anything can happen at 1 a.m. Hence I grabbed my laptop and sat there staring at a blank word document, asking myself,’Bruh… am I fake?’

Then came that oh-so-needed eureka moment. I realized, throughout my small research, everyone kept mentioning betraying manipulative exaggerating backstabbing deceptive fashion copying lack of originality can’t take a bullet for a friend type of person. However, the people who exhibit these characteristics are human, and that phrase I remember in high school said ‘Man is to err’.

And I don’t mean the betraying manipulative exaggerating backstabbing deceptive fashion copying lack of originality can’t take a bullet for a friend type of person. I mean the people judging them for what they have chosen to be. I recently decided to culture myself and watched ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’ (everyone should watch it, it was great) and Holly, the main character (slight spoilers) was such a ‘fake person’ from the beginning however, ‘Fred’ (hahaha) loved her, regardless of her ‘fakeness’ and ‘pretentious’ nature.

In conclusion, it doesn’t matter how real or fake you think you may be, how real or fake people tell you to be or whatever fractions and decimals narrow how genuine you are. It’s how you as a person perceive yourself, look at yourself and how you ask yourself whether you look good wearing make-up worth 100 dollars. You can’t let others tell you who you are. If I want to be fake, let me be fake, if I want to be real, I have no idea what that means anyway.

Be happy at 1 a.m.

Goodnight and Good morning.

Regards,

Wanna Be Sage.

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